alternator and electrical ?'s
#1
Thread Starter
Newbie
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4
Likes: 0
From: midwest city, Ok
Year: 1994
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 4.0l I6
alternator and electrical ?'s
Hey all! I am planning to hit the local boneyard to see if I could track down a 136 amp alternator for my first mod. I got to looking around at the wire that comes out of the back of the alternator and was thinking that it might not be up to the extra juice. So my question to all that have done the alternator swap is....will the stock wiring system be up to the extra juice or will I have to get to upping the wire size.
If it helps here is a small list of mods that I plan to do:
4 100W lights on the roof
2 100W lights on the rear
4 100W lights on the sides of the roof (2 per side)
Winch
CB
Dual band ham rig
1KW inverter
mv 50 air compressor for OBA system
This is not only going to be my light duty trail rig but also my DD.
If it helps here is a small list of mods that I plan to do:
4 100W lights on the roof
2 100W lights on the rear
4 100W lights on the sides of the roof (2 per side)
Winch
CB
Dual band ham rig
1KW inverter
mv 50 air compressor for OBA system
This is not only going to be my light duty trail rig but also my DD.
#2
Hey all! I am planning to hit the local boneyard to see if I could track down a 136 amp alternator for my first mod. I got to looking around at the wire that comes out of the back of the alternator and was thinking that it might not be up to the extra juice. So my question to all that have done the alternator swap is....will the stock wiring system be up to the extra juice or will I have to get to upping the wire size.
If it helps here is a small list of mods that I plan to do:
4 100W lights on the roof
2 100W lights on the rear
4 100W lights on the sides of the roof (2 per side)
Winch
CB
Dual band ham rig
1KW inverter
mv 50 air compressor for OBA system
This is not only going to be my light duty trail rig but also my DD.
If it helps here is a small list of mods that I plan to do:
4 100W lights on the roof
2 100W lights on the rear
4 100W lights on the sides of the roof (2 per side)
Winch
CB
Dual band ham rig
1KW inverter
mv 50 air compressor for OBA system
This is not only going to be my light duty trail rig but also my DD.
Although it's probably a moot point - sounds like you're going to be using the full output rather more than the OEM planned anyhow. OEMs tend to design the mains circuit for about a 40% full-load duty cycle (an alternator only generates the current the system needs at the time. That's what the voltage regulator is for. Trust me - it works, just in a roundabout way...) and you're probably going to push it an awful lot harder. I tend to design mains systems for 100% duty cycle ratings anyhow - this is why my ratings look conservative, but they're much safer that way.
Click the link in my sig for information on a wiring upgrade, and I'll see if I can't get you sorted. Hit me backchannel for more information.
#3
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 575
Likes: 2
From: Virginia
Year: 2000
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 4.0 inline 6
What year?
Although it's probably a moot point - sounds like you're going to be using the full output rather more than the OEM planned anyhow. OEMs tend to design the mains circuit for about a 40% full-load duty cycle (an alternator only generates the current the system needs at the time. That's what the voltage regulator is for. Trust me - it works, just in a roundabout way...) and you're probably going to push it an awful lot harder. I tend to design mains systems for 100% duty cycle ratings anyhow - this is why my ratings look conservative, but they're much safer that way.
Click the link in my sig for information on a wiring upgrade, and I'll see if I can't get you sorted. Hit me backchannel for more information.
Although it's probably a moot point - sounds like you're going to be using the full output rather more than the OEM planned anyhow. OEMs tend to design the mains circuit for about a 40% full-load duty cycle (an alternator only generates the current the system needs at the time. That's what the voltage regulator is for. Trust me - it works, just in a roundabout way...) and you're probably going to push it an awful lot harder. I tend to design mains systems for 100% duty cycle ratings anyhow - this is why my ratings look conservative, but they're much safer that way.
Click the link in my sig for information on a wiring upgrade, and I'll see if I can't get you sorted. Hit me backchannel for more information.
#4
(Yeah, it keeps me busy.)
#5
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 238
Likes: 0
From: Eastern Pennsylvania
Year: 1998
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 4.0
You know where to find me! I've been trying to get the Tech section updated of late (I've got a few writeups to encode, and a load of torque specs to add...) but my wife has been home following some orthopaedic ops and I haven't had as much time to work on it as I'd like (new hip in December, new knee in April, and will be getting shoulder work done - probably arthroscopic, fortunately - in about a week and a half.
(Yeah, it keeps me busy.)
(Yeah, it keeps me busy.)
#6
Thank you.
Although, having seen the MRI imagery (which I've long since learned to read fairly well) and the radiologist's report (which I have no trouble reading) and having discussed this with the orthopaedist (we looked at it during the post-op followup for her knee, while she was off having an X-ray taken...) I actually feel pretty good about this one. Doesn't look like rotator cuff work or anything like that - there are some partial thickness tears in the bicep tendon and some tendinosis (recurrent chronic tearing) in the inferior and superior infraspinatus ligaments (if I recall those names properly,) which are some of the ligaments that hold the shoulder together. The main Sx is a loss of range of motion due to pain - if she takes her right arm up more than even with the line of her shoulders, it hurts rather badly. The localisation of the pain is consistent with the damage noted on MRI study - I'd verified it before the orthopaedic surgeon did.
But, since the rotator cuff isn't involved, it's just going to be a slight clearancing of the point of the AC joint (to prevent future impingement) and oversewing of the tears and sites of tendonosis, and a draining of the fluid pocket caused by the irritation of impingement. Outpatient arthroscopy, back home, and recovery/rehab for 10-12 weeks.
Probably be easier than the shoulder work I had done - but mine was reassembly. Had my right scapula and clavicle shattered like a jigsaw puzzle - took the surgeon five hours to put it back together, and a good portion of it is still medical adhesive! That was closer to six months' rehab, but I got something like 95% of RoM and 99% of strength back (I heal well. Original trauma: GSW.)
Our orthopaedist is an interesting fellow, and damned good at what he does. Dr. Joseph started out as a Boston cop; then he got is Ph.D. (epidemology) at Temple, and taught at Temple while he was getting his M.D. (Harvard Med) before he came out here. He's a damned decent fella, fairly warped (which helps - bear in mind that my wife is an X-cop and I'm fmr ABN...) and he likes the fact that I learn something new every time I go see him (I was going in with my mother-in-law for four or five years before all of this started up with my wife.) I've not been to medical school, but I've had to make medical decisions for the last several years - based on what I'd learned from seeing all of these doctors (gastroenterologist, pulmonologist, cardiologist, orthopaedic surgeon, otorhinolaryngologist, allergist, opthalmic surgeon, haematologist, podiatrist, ... - sometimes even for myself!) and it's always felt good to have the doctors telling me I did the right thing. Learning to 'speak their language' has also helped considerably - my medical notes are quite easy for them to read (moreso since I type them up - my handwriting is worse than most MDs...) and anytime I try to get or give an update, it's done in rather less than a minute (since I understand their shorthand. It's like any other trade - you find ways to shorten discussions without changing semantic content, allowing for more efficient communication. Every trade does it - and it's not a bad thing. It just makes it easier to handle everything once you learn the language that they use.)
I've got a good feeling about this, and I don't even "hope I'm right" with this one (which is itself a bit promising. I just hope I haven't jinxed it - but I'll find out on 23JUN...) I don't mind supporting her, I don't mind playing Physical Therapist (I'm told I do that well,) but I'll be glad to see all of this work done and behind us.
At least, until her left leg decides to start playing up! If/when that happens, we'll probably just get the hip and knee done at the same time!
But, thank you. I know - I ran on quite a bit, but I needed to vent just a little, y'know? It's been a busy time for me since mid-December (actually since late October, when everything started to blow all to Hell - that's when we lost her mother in the first place. OK - we didn't lose her, we know where she is. She's dead.
(And, just in case my brother-in-law decides to get stupid and say I didn't do a decent job, I closed and kept the chart in my files. All my notes, all the doctor's orders, the appointment calendars - everything. If he tries to accuse me of doing poorly by his mother, I will hang him out to dry...)
Although, having seen the MRI imagery (which I've long since learned to read fairly well) and the radiologist's report (which I have no trouble reading) and having discussed this with the orthopaedist (we looked at it during the post-op followup for her knee, while she was off having an X-ray taken...) I actually feel pretty good about this one. Doesn't look like rotator cuff work or anything like that - there are some partial thickness tears in the bicep tendon and some tendinosis (recurrent chronic tearing) in the inferior and superior infraspinatus ligaments (if I recall those names properly,) which are some of the ligaments that hold the shoulder together. The main Sx is a loss of range of motion due to pain - if she takes her right arm up more than even with the line of her shoulders, it hurts rather badly. The localisation of the pain is consistent with the damage noted on MRI study - I'd verified it before the orthopaedic surgeon did.
But, since the rotator cuff isn't involved, it's just going to be a slight clearancing of the point of the AC joint (to prevent future impingement) and oversewing of the tears and sites of tendonosis, and a draining of the fluid pocket caused by the irritation of impingement. Outpatient arthroscopy, back home, and recovery/rehab for 10-12 weeks.
Probably be easier than the shoulder work I had done - but mine was reassembly. Had my right scapula and clavicle shattered like a jigsaw puzzle - took the surgeon five hours to put it back together, and a good portion of it is still medical adhesive! That was closer to six months' rehab, but I got something like 95% of RoM and 99% of strength back (I heal well. Original trauma: GSW.)
Our orthopaedist is an interesting fellow, and damned good at what he does. Dr. Joseph started out as a Boston cop; then he got is Ph.D. (epidemology) at Temple, and taught at Temple while he was getting his M.D. (Harvard Med) before he came out here. He's a damned decent fella, fairly warped (which helps - bear in mind that my wife is an X-cop and I'm fmr ABN...) and he likes the fact that I learn something new every time I go see him (I was going in with my mother-in-law for four or five years before all of this started up with my wife.) I've not been to medical school, but I've had to make medical decisions for the last several years - based on what I'd learned from seeing all of these doctors (gastroenterologist, pulmonologist, cardiologist, orthopaedic surgeon, otorhinolaryngologist, allergist, opthalmic surgeon, haematologist, podiatrist, ... - sometimes even for myself!) and it's always felt good to have the doctors telling me I did the right thing. Learning to 'speak their language' has also helped considerably - my medical notes are quite easy for them to read (moreso since I type them up - my handwriting is worse than most MDs...) and anytime I try to get or give an update, it's done in rather less than a minute (since I understand their shorthand. It's like any other trade - you find ways to shorten discussions without changing semantic content, allowing for more efficient communication. Every trade does it - and it's not a bad thing. It just makes it easier to handle everything once you learn the language that they use.)
I've got a good feeling about this, and I don't even "hope I'm right" with this one (which is itself a bit promising. I just hope I haven't jinxed it - but I'll find out on 23JUN...) I don't mind supporting her, I don't mind playing Physical Therapist (I'm told I do that well,) but I'll be glad to see all of this work done and behind us.
At least, until her left leg decides to start playing up! If/when that happens, we'll probably just get the hip and knee done at the same time!
But, thank you. I know - I ran on quite a bit, but I needed to vent just a little, y'know? It's been a busy time for me since mid-December (actually since late October, when everything started to blow all to Hell - that's when we lost her mother in the first place. OK - we didn't lose her, we know where she is. She's dead.
(And, just in case my brother-in-law decides to get stupid and say I didn't do a decent job, I closed and kept the chart in my files. All my notes, all the doctor's orders, the appointment calendars - everything. If he tries to accuse me of doing poorly by his mother, I will hang him out to dry...)
#7
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 575
Likes: 2
From: Virginia
Year: 2000
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 4.0 inline 6
Thank you.
Although, having seen the MRI imagery (which I've long since learned to read fairly well) and the radiologist's report (which I have no trouble reading) and having discussed this with the orthopaedist (we looked at it during the post-op followup for her knee, while she was off having an X-ray taken...) I actually feel pretty good about this one. Doesn't look like rotator cuff work or anything like that - there are some partial thickness tears in the bicep tendon and some tendinosis (recurrent chronic tearing) in the inferior and superior infraspinatus ligaments (if I recall those names properly,) which are some of the ligaments that hold the shoulder together. The main Sx is a loss of range of motion due to pain - if she takes her right arm up more than even with the line of her shoulders, it hurts rather badly. The localisation of the pain is consistent with the damage noted on MRI study - I'd verified it before the orthopaedic surgeon did.
But, since the rotator cuff isn't involved, it's just going to be a slight clearancing of the point of the AC joint (to prevent future impingement) and oversewing of the tears and sites of tendonosis, and a draining of the fluid pocket caused by the irritation of impingement. Outpatient arthroscopy, back home, and recovery/rehab for 10-12 weeks.
Probably be easier than the shoulder work I had done - but mine was reassembly. Had my right scapula and clavicle shattered like a jigsaw puzzle - took the surgeon five hours to put it back together, and a good portion of it is still medical adhesive! That was closer to six months' rehab, but I got something like 95% of RoM and 99% of strength back (I heal well. Original trauma: GSW.)
Our orthopaedist is an interesting fellow, and damned good at what he does. Dr. Joseph started out as a Boston cop; then he got is Ph.D. (epidemology) at Temple, and taught at Temple while he was getting his M.D. (Harvard Med) before he came out here. He's a damned decent fella, fairly warped (which helps - bear in mind that my wife is an X-cop and I'm fmr ABN...) and he likes the fact that I learn something new every time I go see him (I was going in with my mother-in-law for four or five years before all of this started up with my wife.) I've not been to medical school, but I've had to make medical decisions for the last several years - based on what I'd learned from seeing all of these doctors (gastroenterologist, pulmonologist, cardiologist, orthopaedic surgeon, otorhinolaryngologist, allergist, opthalmic surgeon, haematologist, podiatrist, ... - sometimes even for myself!) and it's always felt good to have the doctors telling me I did the right thing. Learning to 'speak their language' has also helped considerably - my medical notes are quite easy for them to read (moreso since I type them up - my handwriting is worse than most MDs...) and anytime I try to get or give an update, it's done in rather less than a minute (since I understand their shorthand. It's like any other trade - you find ways to shorten discussions without changing semantic content, allowing for more efficient communication. Every trade does it - and it's not a bad thing. It just makes it easier to handle everything once you learn the language that they use.)
I've got a good feeling about this, and I don't even "hope I'm right" with this one (which is itself a bit promising. I just hope I haven't jinxed it - but I'll find out on 23JUN...) I don't mind supporting her, I don't mind playing Physical Therapist (I'm told I do that well,) but I'll be glad to see all of this work done and behind us.
At least, until her left leg decides to start playing up! If/when that happens, we'll probably just get the hip and knee done at the same time!
But, thank you. I know - I ran on quite a bit, but I needed to vent just a little, y'know? It's been a busy time for me since mid-December (actually since late October, when everything started to blow all to Hell - that's when we lost her mother in the first place. OK - we didn't lose her, we know where she is. She's dead.
(And, just in case my brother-in-law decides to get stupid and say I didn't do a decent job, I closed and kept the chart in my files. All my notes, all the doctor's orders, the appointment calendars - everything. If he tries to accuse me of doing poorly by his mother, I will hang him out to dry...)
Although, having seen the MRI imagery (which I've long since learned to read fairly well) and the radiologist's report (which I have no trouble reading) and having discussed this with the orthopaedist (we looked at it during the post-op followup for her knee, while she was off having an X-ray taken...) I actually feel pretty good about this one. Doesn't look like rotator cuff work or anything like that - there are some partial thickness tears in the bicep tendon and some tendinosis (recurrent chronic tearing) in the inferior and superior infraspinatus ligaments (if I recall those names properly,) which are some of the ligaments that hold the shoulder together. The main Sx is a loss of range of motion due to pain - if she takes her right arm up more than even with the line of her shoulders, it hurts rather badly. The localisation of the pain is consistent with the damage noted on MRI study - I'd verified it before the orthopaedic surgeon did.
But, since the rotator cuff isn't involved, it's just going to be a slight clearancing of the point of the AC joint (to prevent future impingement) and oversewing of the tears and sites of tendonosis, and a draining of the fluid pocket caused by the irritation of impingement. Outpatient arthroscopy, back home, and recovery/rehab for 10-12 weeks.
Probably be easier than the shoulder work I had done - but mine was reassembly. Had my right scapula and clavicle shattered like a jigsaw puzzle - took the surgeon five hours to put it back together, and a good portion of it is still medical adhesive! That was closer to six months' rehab, but I got something like 95% of RoM and 99% of strength back (I heal well. Original trauma: GSW.)
Our orthopaedist is an interesting fellow, and damned good at what he does. Dr. Joseph started out as a Boston cop; then he got is Ph.D. (epidemology) at Temple, and taught at Temple while he was getting his M.D. (Harvard Med) before he came out here. He's a damned decent fella, fairly warped (which helps - bear in mind that my wife is an X-cop and I'm fmr ABN...) and he likes the fact that I learn something new every time I go see him (I was going in with my mother-in-law for four or five years before all of this started up with my wife.) I've not been to medical school, but I've had to make medical decisions for the last several years - based on what I'd learned from seeing all of these doctors (gastroenterologist, pulmonologist, cardiologist, orthopaedic surgeon, otorhinolaryngologist, allergist, opthalmic surgeon, haematologist, podiatrist, ... - sometimes even for myself!) and it's always felt good to have the doctors telling me I did the right thing. Learning to 'speak their language' has also helped considerably - my medical notes are quite easy for them to read (moreso since I type them up - my handwriting is worse than most MDs...) and anytime I try to get or give an update, it's done in rather less than a minute (since I understand their shorthand. It's like any other trade - you find ways to shorten discussions without changing semantic content, allowing for more efficient communication. Every trade does it - and it's not a bad thing. It just makes it easier to handle everything once you learn the language that they use.)
I've got a good feeling about this, and I don't even "hope I'm right" with this one (which is itself a bit promising. I just hope I haven't jinxed it - but I'll find out on 23JUN...) I don't mind supporting her, I don't mind playing Physical Therapist (I'm told I do that well,) but I'll be glad to see all of this work done and behind us.
At least, until her left leg decides to start playing up! If/when that happens, we'll probably just get the hip and knee done at the same time!
But, thank you. I know - I ran on quite a bit, but I needed to vent just a little, y'know? It's been a busy time for me since mid-December (actually since late October, when everything started to blow all to Hell - that's when we lost her mother in the first place. OK - we didn't lose her, we know where she is. She's dead.
(And, just in case my brother-in-law decides to get stupid and say I didn't do a decent job, I closed and kept the chart in my files. All my notes, all the doctor's orders, the appointment calendars - everything. If he tries to accuse me of doing poorly by his mother, I will hang him out to dry...)
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#8
Family members? The only reason I haven't sent Mike (my BIL) my bill for doing his job is in deference to my wife, but she's about to let me (there are times when it doesn't do to buck your wife. If it were my side of the family, I'd have waded in and kicked the **** out of him years ago - problem solved. I've added it all up, and I figure that $50K-ish is cheap at four times the price! I don't expect to see any of it, but money seems to be the only thing he understands...) I haven't had a proper opportunity to, er, "express my dissatisfaction" with him (which will probably include telling his wife at some point, "You sit down and shut up! I'll deal with you shortly...") - my sense of propriety has been saving his ****. So, I can be patient...
#9
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 238
Likes: 0
From: Eastern Pennsylvania
Year: 1998
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 4.0
Yah - done the torn tendons, torn ligaments, and even tore muscles (erectors, bilateral, ~75% tear. Six months' rehab under Workman's Comp...)
Family members? The only reason I haven't sent Mike (my BIL) my bill for doing his job is in deference to my wife, but she's about to let me (there are times when it doesn't do to buck your wife. If it were my side of the family, I'd have waded in and kicked the **** out of him years ago - problem solved. I've added it all up, and I figure that $50K-ish is cheap at four times the price! I don't expect to see any of it, but money seems to be the only thing he understands...) I haven't had a proper opportunity to, er, "express my dissatisfaction" with him (which will probably include telling his wife at some point, "You sit down and shut up! I'll deal with you shortly...") - my sense of propriety has been saving his ****. So, I can be patient...
Family members? The only reason I haven't sent Mike (my BIL) my bill for doing his job is in deference to my wife, but she's about to let me (there are times when it doesn't do to buck your wife. If it were my side of the family, I'd have waded in and kicked the **** out of him years ago - problem solved. I've added it all up, and I figure that $50K-ish is cheap at four times the price! I don't expect to see any of it, but money seems to be the only thing he understands...) I haven't had a proper opportunity to, er, "express my dissatisfaction" with him (which will probably include telling his wife at some point, "You sit down and shut up! I'll deal with you shortly...") - my sense of propriety has been saving his ****. So, I can be patient...
Everybody will get a good what fer before everything is said and done. It sounds like this mike character shall be getting a good one coming up. Who knows maybe an opportunity will present itself for ya to get your 2 cents in without it messing things up.
And make sure when you tell his wife to sit down and shut up, add and make me a pie in there somewhere. I'm sure with her being a woman she will appreciate the get your **** in the kitchen and make me a pie aspect.
#10
Its always good to be able to vent somewhere, I use this forum in that fashion also.
Everybody will get a good what fer before everything is said and done. It sounds like this mike character shall be getting a good one coming up. Who knows maybe an opportunity will present itself for ya to get your 2 cents in without it messing things up.
And make sure when you tell his wife to sit down and shut up, add and make me a pie in there somewhere. I'm sure with her being a woman she will appreciate the get your **** in the kitchen and make me a pie aspect.
Everybody will get a good what fer before everything is said and done. It sounds like this mike character shall be getting a good one coming up. Who knows maybe an opportunity will present itself for ya to get your 2 cents in without it messing things up.
And make sure when you tell his wife to sit down and shut up, add and make me a pie in there somewhere. I'm sure with her being a woman she will appreciate the get your **** in the kitchen and make me a pie aspect.
As far as "messing things up" - he didn't uphold his filial obligation. He's no kin of mine anymore - Hell, I barely consider him a man anymore. In my last psych eval, the doctor noted that "I have very clear and firm ideas of right and wrong." My code of honour may be a bit strange, but it's inflexible - and if you can figure it out, you can figure me out. It's not that difficult to do anyhow. In his case, it's an example of "A man who doesn't support his family is no man" - he'd always complain that "family comes first" - but "family" to him was only his wife and daughters, and didn't include his mother and his sister. Strike one!
They have two incomes, live in Oklahoma (CoL is about a third of ours,) he's a DoD civilian at TAFB, and makes loads of overtime. But, they were always "tapped out" when we asked for help. Strike two!
I found out a couple of months ago, he considered himself "excused" from doing anything because - and get this! - "I'm not in the same state." Strike three! I figure if I can drop everything for three weeks, drive two days straight, and get to mum two hours before she's supposed to go in for brain surgery (I'd have been there sooner, but she didn't tell me until she figured it was too late for me to come out. I slept one hour in twelve getting there...) get her into surgery, and spend the next two weeks helping with rehab; there's no reason whatever that he couldn't be arsed to drop a dime or lick a stamp once in a while for his mum - especially when she was in hospital (again...) Now that I think on it, the last two times mum's been in for surgery (calcified meningioma and total hysterectomy,) I was there. Hell, I was there for every time she had some variety of operation - right back to the tubal ligation she had when I was twelve. If it was more serious than a hangnail, I showed up.
Oh - and she's still in Indiana, and I've been out here in CA for the last twenty years. Distance is no excuse - and I even got emergency leave when I needed it a couple of times, while I was in the Air Force... So, there are plenty of excuses, but no reasons. There is no valid reason for not fulfilling your filial obligation in some manner - if you can't make it there directly, you convey your presence in another way. He always knew when she was in hospital, which hospital (it was always the same one anyhow,) what room, and what was wrong. Everybody got daily updates - that was my job. The one time he tried to get in the way when she was in hospital, the pulmonologist called me to say that Mike was being a pain and calling him six times a day - so I had to shut him down good and hard and make sure he understood that everything had to go through me, since the doctors didn't mind talking to me (once a day, around the end of the day, short conversation. Three minutes or less, typically. Besides, we'd go in to visit - my wife went straight to her, I went straight to the charge nurse. They had my number as well.)
But, as I said, I've got my file still. If he even tries to imply that I didn't do the best I could, I'll probably peel him like a banana. If he takes me to court, I'll countersue for everything he's got (and probably get it. I still can't understand how someone who is "tapped out" and has no credit still manages to have a 52" HD LCD hanging on the wall in his living room. If I put all of the screens in my house together - computer and televisor - they wouldn't add up to that! I'll take that one first, I figure it's got a VGA input on the back...)
Of course, he's got to go on about how he's been "born again" and drag God into every conversation by the heels within thirty seconds - which is a large part of the reason that organised religion just tastes so bad to me. Isn't one of the Commandments "Honour thy mother and father"? Or am I missing something?
#11
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 575
Likes: 2
From: Virginia
Year: 2000
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 4.0 inline 6
Capital - but she can't cook for sour owls***.
As far as "messing things up" - he didn't uphold his filial obligation. He's no kin of mine anymore - Hell, I barely consider him a man anymore. In my last psych eval, the doctor noted that "I have very clear and firm ideas of right and wrong." My code of honour may be a bit strange, but it's inflexible - and if you can figure it out, you can figure me out. It's not that difficult to do anyhow. In his case, it's an example of "A man who doesn't support his family is no man" - he'd always complain that "family comes first" - but "family" to him was only his wife and daughters, and didn't include his mother and his sister. Strike one!
They have two incomes, live in Oklahoma (CoL is about a third of ours,) he's a DoD civilian at TAFB, and makes loads of overtime. But, they were always "tapped out" when we asked for help. Strike two!
I found out a couple of months ago, he considered himself "excused" from doing anything because - and get this! - "I'm not in the same state." Strike three! I figure if I can drop everything for three weeks, drive two days straight, and get to mum two hours before she's supposed to go in for brain surgery (I'd have been there sooner, but she didn't tell me until she figured it was too late for me to come out. I slept one hour in twelve getting there...) get her into surgery, and spend the next two weeks helping with rehab; there's no reason whatever that he couldn't be arsed to drop a dime or lick a stamp once in a while for his mum - especially when she was in hospital (again...) Now that I think on it, the last two times mum's been in for surgery (calcified meningioma and total hysterectomy,) I was there. Hell, I was there for every time she had some variety of operation - right back to the tubal ligation she had when I was twelve. If it was more serious than a hangnail, I showed up.
Oh - and she's still in Indiana, and I've been out here in CA for the last twenty years. Distance is no excuse - and I even got emergency leave when I needed it a couple of times, while I was in the Air Force... So, there are plenty of excuses, but no reasons. There is no valid reason for not fulfilling your filial obligation in some manner - if you can't make it there directly, you convey your presence in another way. He always knew when she was in hospital, which hospital (it was always the same one anyhow,) what room, and what was wrong. Everybody got daily updates - that was my job. The one time he tried to get in the way when she was in hospital, the pulmonologist called me to say that Mike was being a pain and calling him six times a day - so I had to shut him down good and hard and make sure he understood that everything had to go through me, since the doctors didn't mind talking to me (once a day, around the end of the day, short conversation. Three minutes or less, typically. Besides, we'd go in to visit - my wife went straight to her, I went straight to the charge nurse. They had my number as well.)
But, as I said, I've got my file still. If he even tries to imply that I didn't do the best I could, I'll probably peel him like a banana. If he takes me to court, I'll countersue for everything he's got (and probably get it. I still can't understand how someone who is "tapped out" and has no credit still manages to have a 52" HD LCD hanging on the wall in his living room. If I put all of the screens in my house together - computer and televisor - they wouldn't add up to that! I'll take that one first, I figure it's got a VGA input on the back...)
Of course, he's got to go on about how he's been "born again" and drag God into every conversation by the heels within thirty seconds - which is a large part of the reason that organised religion just tastes so bad to me. Isn't one of the Commandments "Honour thy mother and father"? Or am I missing something?
As far as "messing things up" - he didn't uphold his filial obligation. He's no kin of mine anymore - Hell, I barely consider him a man anymore. In my last psych eval, the doctor noted that "I have very clear and firm ideas of right and wrong." My code of honour may be a bit strange, but it's inflexible - and if you can figure it out, you can figure me out. It's not that difficult to do anyhow. In his case, it's an example of "A man who doesn't support his family is no man" - he'd always complain that "family comes first" - but "family" to him was only his wife and daughters, and didn't include his mother and his sister. Strike one!
They have two incomes, live in Oklahoma (CoL is about a third of ours,) he's a DoD civilian at TAFB, and makes loads of overtime. But, they were always "tapped out" when we asked for help. Strike two!
I found out a couple of months ago, he considered himself "excused" from doing anything because - and get this! - "I'm not in the same state." Strike three! I figure if I can drop everything for three weeks, drive two days straight, and get to mum two hours before she's supposed to go in for brain surgery (I'd have been there sooner, but she didn't tell me until she figured it was too late for me to come out. I slept one hour in twelve getting there...) get her into surgery, and spend the next two weeks helping with rehab; there's no reason whatever that he couldn't be arsed to drop a dime or lick a stamp once in a while for his mum - especially when she was in hospital (again...) Now that I think on it, the last two times mum's been in for surgery (calcified meningioma and total hysterectomy,) I was there. Hell, I was there for every time she had some variety of operation - right back to the tubal ligation she had when I was twelve. If it was more serious than a hangnail, I showed up.
Oh - and she's still in Indiana, and I've been out here in CA for the last twenty years. Distance is no excuse - and I even got emergency leave when I needed it a couple of times, while I was in the Air Force... So, there are plenty of excuses, but no reasons. There is no valid reason for not fulfilling your filial obligation in some manner - if you can't make it there directly, you convey your presence in another way. He always knew when she was in hospital, which hospital (it was always the same one anyhow,) what room, and what was wrong. Everybody got daily updates - that was my job. The one time he tried to get in the way when she was in hospital, the pulmonologist called me to say that Mike was being a pain and calling him six times a day - so I had to shut him down good and hard and make sure he understood that everything had to go through me, since the doctors didn't mind talking to me (once a day, around the end of the day, short conversation. Three minutes or less, typically. Besides, we'd go in to visit - my wife went straight to her, I went straight to the charge nurse. They had my number as well.)
But, as I said, I've got my file still. If he even tries to imply that I didn't do the best I could, I'll probably peel him like a banana. If he takes me to court, I'll countersue for everything he's got (and probably get it. I still can't understand how someone who is "tapped out" and has no credit still manages to have a 52" HD LCD hanging on the wall in his living room. If I put all of the screens in my house together - computer and televisor - they wouldn't add up to that! I'll take that one first, I figure it's got a VGA input on the back...)
Of course, he's got to go on about how he's been "born again" and drag God into every conversation by the heels within thirty seconds - which is a large part of the reason that organised religion just tastes so bad to me. Isn't one of the Commandments "Honour thy mother and father"? Or am I missing something?
#12
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 148
Likes: 0
From: Surrey B.C
Year: 1998
Model: Cherokee
Engine: Inline 6
Your brother in law is a complete idiot and an *** hole! I agree that he should be paying up money to at LEAST help out with the hospital bills. If there was anyone in my family i would A. disown them from the family or B. Go on one of my pissed off rants and absolutely and utterly destroy what ever little fantasy world he is living in, and maybe knock him around a little. Just to set his priorities straight hahahahaha.
I have already done this once to someone not in my family. They are now a somewhat better person.
p.s I have anger problems that i handle very well until needed
I have already done this once to someone not in my family. They are now a somewhat better person.
p.s I have anger problems that i handle very well until needed
#13
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 238
Likes: 0
From: Eastern Pennsylvania
Year: 1998
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 4.0
This guy is a real piece of work he will definitely get his no question. You did everything in your power to accommodate and help her.
It sounds like what he really needs is a blunt object to knock some sense into him.
I agree with you xj. That's why i make it a priority to not rely on the organized part of religion but my personal relationship with Jesus.
It sounds like what he really needs is a blunt object to knock some sense into him.
I agree with you xj. That's why i make it a priority to not rely on the organized part of religion but my personal relationship with Jesus.
#14
This guy is a real piece of work he will definitely get his no question. You did everything in your power to accommodate and help her.
It sounds like what he really needs is a blunt object to knock some sense into him.
I agree with you xj. That's why i make it a priority to not rely on the organized part of religion but my personal relationship with Jesus.
It sounds like what he really needs is a blunt object to knock some sense into him.
I agree with you xj. That's why i make it a priority to not rely on the organized part of religion but my personal relationship with Jesus.
(I should probably cut another one for my wife - she's 5'2", so 30-32" is about right...)
We had the pre-op with Dr. Joseph to-day, and he's still thinking that rotator cuff work is unlikely. From the imagery we saw when reviewing the MRI and the X-rays he took to-day, I'm inclined to agree (I'm no MD, and certainly no surgeon - but I'm not stupid, either.)
Disowned him? Already done. For my side of the familiy, I'm the enforcer anyhow - so I'd have handled it long before. My position was fully cemented when my granddad was still alive and wanted to rewrite his will: he sent me a First Class airline ticket (first time I'd ever flown First Class!) with open dates, and his phone number. That was it. The man had a way of getting your attention...
He wanted someone he could trust to talk thing out with, and I was it. No worries - I sorted things out, found out I'd need about a week, and took two weeks off (it was wintertime - and he still had the iceboat we built when I was a kid.) He knew I wouldn't spill - and no-one else could afford to get me drunk enough to spill anyhow. Not that they didn't try. I didn't mind - it was nice getting all that free booze for a week, y'know? I'd spend the day talking with him, then my aunt and uncle would come around and pick me up and take me to a bar, and I'd have granddad come pick me up afterwards (he was sober. I was not.)
I wasn't in line to get anything directly, so I'm also a disinterested party. Worked out neatly all around (I'll be getting what I did want - he's got an AR-7 with Air Force markings he'd picked up from somewhere, and I've been wanting that rifle for thirty-some years!)
As a rule, I don't tend to discount people simply because they're religious - until they try to foist their beliefs upon me or until they try to hide behind their beliefs to keep from doing what is correct. I have friends who are Christians who live the faith - I have no trouble with this. I also have friends who are Catholic, Jewish, a couple who are Muslim - and we don't have any trouble.
My brother-in-law is one of those guys who wears his faith on his sleeve - and that I have a problem with! To quote Ghandi - "I like your Christ. I dislike your Christians; they are so unlike your Christ." Not 100% accurate, but close enough for government work.
Of course, Mike has his trouble with me. He drags God into any and every conversation - I walk away immediately afterwards. He's been "Born Again" - I don't think you need religion to live a moral and ethical life. And, by now, I can't stand to even look at him!
But, I digress. Surgery will be a week Wednesday, and I've got a good feeling about it. Thank you for listening to me up to now...
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