Well, I was right. The Duralast replacement distributor won't clock correctly.
I went to the Junkyard and pulled another distributor off a 97.
Swapped pickup coils because the connector was different and dropped it in place. Didn't even bother setting it to 100% TDC, I just made sure it went in exactly like it came out. Didn't even need to reset the CEL, it turned off after it went out of open-loop.

Now to convince Autozone to take it back.

I just can't understand it, the shaft looks keyed the way it sits in the distributor housing so I didn't think the shaft could have been incorrectly clocked. But still, every time I checked the factory distributor the mounting hole would line up perfectly, and with the aftermarket one it was 2-3mm off center. Definitely enough to cause timing issues

Lesson learned, another aftermarket part that should be bought and immediately thrown away. Trash like the rest...

 

Sorry to hear that, but glad you figured it out. Enjoy your victory.

 

I know this is an old thread but, I think I know the problem. The gear on the bottom of the new distributor was put on backward.




the new one is a half a tooth off(both rotors are in the same position).

If you rotate it 180 degrees, the gears and pin hole match.



so the solution would be to get the gear off and rotate it 180 degrees which I think would be a pain(it looks like it was pressed on), or exchange it and hope the next one was put on right.

 

Easily swapped by taking the roll pin out.